Predictions for 2008

Stolen from a Charlie Brooker column, written about 2007. He was wrong.

The world’s been in a violently unpleasant shape since 2001, and the law of averages dictates we’re all due a break. 2008 is going to be the best year ever made. All wars will end. We’ll cure cancer and Aids – twice. In February it’ll rain banknotes for a week. In July, rabbits will learn to talk. Better still, they’ll tell jokes – hilarious jokes, jokes you don’t need to be a rabbit to appreciate, jokes offering a fresh, rabbity perspective on human foibles, making us unite as one, laugh at ourselves and frig each other off for the sheer joyous hell of it. In December, we’ll make contact with a benevolent race of aliens who shit chocolate and piss lemonade.